I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
