dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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