Sponge bath it is.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
