sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
