Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
