I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
