The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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