We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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