i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
