Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
