people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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