So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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