Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
