We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
