You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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