is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize