nut hugger
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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