your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
