I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
