So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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