If i come over, it means nothing
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
