Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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