I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
