I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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