we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize