You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dude i'm inner monologue high
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
