You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
