My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
