Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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