lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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