my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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