My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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