i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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