mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
