Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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