Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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