i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
