Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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