Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
and she was petting her beer can
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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