If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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