loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Mom said you looked used
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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