Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
