I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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