random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
