i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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