Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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