I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
