Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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