break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
