I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm determined to sit on that face.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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