dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I need water and some morals
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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