I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
