i think my tv is drunk
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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