And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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