I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize