im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
