Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
