You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
