What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
