At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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