Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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