maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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