Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
