Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
